Losing a child before oneself is one of the most emotionally devastating experiences a person can go through. The anguish and grief caused by this premature loss can be all-consuming and long-lasting, never truly fading away with the passage of time.
We Are Never Separate from Children Who Die
It is important for all of us to know that we are never separate from the child whose body has died(child die). That child remains close by, often for years, because of the parent’s grief. Even when the child goes on to their experiences in the life after this life, they are always only a thought away. They come when we’re having difficulty, when we call to them, or when we’re engaged in some event they would have attended if they were still using a body.
We eventually will have a glorious reunion with them. When we awaken in the life after this life, the people we love will be around us, especially our children. Our children in the life after this life know that. Their consistent message is “Don’t cry. I’m still with you, just in a different form. And soon we’ll be on the same plane together again.”
We are never separate from our children who have made the transition.
Reasons A Family Would Plan a Child’s Early Exit
There are many reasons the Souls of a family and the child’s Soul plan a child’s exit from Earth School. For the family planning the child’s brief life before their entry into Earth School, the planned exit is not seen as traumatic. While outside of Earth School, with full understanding of what will happen, all involved saw Earth School as a short time in eternity in which to learn lessons. The early exit is part of the lessons being learned by the child, the parents, and others who are part of the child’s circle. All agreed to it during pre-birth planning.
All lives are interconnected and there are myriad reasons a Soul may choose to have a short life, and the planning for all people bears upon the final decision to have an early exit point. We don’t know the reasons for it, but we can be assured that it was in the Soul’s plan.
Sometimes short lives are planned when a Soul wants to accelerate the person’ growth. The Soul that is the child may have wanted the benefits of having this particular mother personality for the time the child was on earth, and during the pre-birth planning the mother’s Soul agreed.
The Child’s Mission Has Been Fulfilled
The child who leaves the body behind has finished what they intended to do on earth. Their mission has been fulfilled. When the child’s soul, the souls of others who would be involved in the child’s life, and guides are planning the life that this child would live, exit points were determined based on goals the child would attain. When the child made this exit, there was nothing anyone could have done to change it. It had been predetermined. But it’s a sign the goalpost had been reached successfully.
No Parent Need Feel They Could Have Done More to Stop the Exit
No parent need feel guilt or dwell on “What I should have done” or “It’s all my fault.” The exit point was planned. Nothing could have changed it.
It’s difficult for us to understand why we might have been part of planning our child’s early exit. It seems a child couldn’t have accomplished a mission. However, we had a different perspective during the planning, and will have another perspective after the reunion. During the planning, the short space of life that is full of intentional changes and loss is understood in the eternity of our lives together. After we all make the transition, we will again understand the wisdom of the early exit.
Children Can Be Serving Others’ Needs
One of the reasons we come into Earth School is to be instrumental in helping others learn lessons. The souls of the family may have determined that the child’s life was to include whatever has led to the transition, just as children with disabilities have chosen their role to help other family members and people intimately in the child’s life.
The Souls of the families of children with disabilities and the children’s Souls have chosen the disabilities to help one another learn lessons they decided they wanted to learn in Earth School before they were born. The parents are silent heroes, and the children’s Souls describe their choice to live with disability in which they can achieve their life goals without full capabilities.
One woman received the message from her guide about the reason for choosing deafness: “Deafness is not a handicap. It is an opportunity. It provides a subtle shift in focus that is necessary for personal and profound spiritual growth. Deafness is not one’s fault. It is a choice. Like every other choice, it provides the opportunity to experience life in exactly the way that is needed for one’s purpose.”
For the parents, we chose events in our lives that could result in our making ourselves feel grief, but the reactions do not have to result in a deep, lasting experience of suffering. Whether we suffer when tragic events occur and how long we suffer depends on our progress in learning the truths about ourselves and life.
We planned our lives before our births in intimate cooperation with the others who are now in Earth School with us, including the souls of our children. We may have chosen circumstances and events that seem unfair and tragic, but we did so knowing that only these extremes could help us learn the lessons we decided we wanted to learn. Suffering is never a punishment. There is no punishment in Our Universal Intelligence that is the source of creation. What we call suffering is always so we can learn lessons, help others learn lessons, or help humankind grow in love, compassion, and understanding.
Our Lives Were Not Intended to Have Continual Suffering
We should be living lives full of love, peace, joy, optimism for the future, comfort, and good health. When events occur that disrupt our lives, we should be able to adjust to them, secure in knowing we are spiritual beings living through temporary circumstances so we can learn lessons, and that we are supported by those around us who have learned to be other-centered and unconditionally loving.
Children who exit early are not gone. They have just left behind their bodies and have changed where they will continue their lives. It is all in the master plan of our eternal lives. We can communicate with them. They come when we ask them to come.
Schwartz, Your Soul’s Plan, 226-227.
Schwartz, Your Soul’s Plan, 103. Schwartz, Your Soul’s Plan, 119.