I Could See My Stepfather in Spirit Standing Right Next to My Mother

On November 25, 2023, my stepfather, Matt, died within five minutes after my mother, sitting at his hospital bedside, pressed the nurse emergency button to call for help.

A few moments prior to that call, my stepfather was asleep. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and said, “I’m dying! I can’t breathe!” In response to the call, the doctor and nurses rushed into the room, asked my mother to step outside, and began efforts to clear his airway of fluid.

My husband and I were on our way to the hospital. Suddenly, I had a strong urge to tell my stepfather to hold on. I’m on my way. I knew this day would come because I saw it in my dreams. I did not, however, know it would be so quick, so abrupt, without his family at his side.

I reached for my cell phone and called our youngest son who was already at the hospital with his sister and grandmother. “How far away are you?” he asked. “Maybe 25 minutes.” “You’d better hurry.”

I hit the accelerator, but that wouldn’t make a difference. No matter how fast I drove, it would be too late.

Moments later, my son called back. “He’s gone.”

It felt as if the wind was knocked out of me, and I was stunned into silence. My foot slid off the accelerator. The truck lost power and drifted out of the fast lane. “Mom? Mom?” I hear as I end the call without saying a word. This is not how I wanted this to happen. I wanted to be with him, to sit at his bedside when he took his last breath. I wanted to say, you had a good life. You were a good father and provider. I love you. It’s okay to go.

He had suffered after the car accident in February. For nine months following the accident, he was in and out of the hospital and rehabilitation facilities for various infections and the loss of the ability to walk and care for himself.

In the end, when he called for help, he couldn’t catch his breath because his body was not strong enough to cough up the fluid in his lungs. The final diagnosis was sepsis and the transition was quick. We were numb with grief.

For 35 years, I had walked into the dining room to see him sitting in his favorite black recliner beside the window where he monitored everything going on inside and outside of the house. He wanted to be in the know so he could candidly give his opinion. His recliner was perfectly positioned to look out the window to see who was coming or going and to wave to the neighbors who walked by.

Now, the black recliner sits empty. When will I hear from him? I wonder. Because of the nature of my dreams, I knew it was only a matter of time before I saw him. Little did I know only three days would pass before he made contact.

In the first visitation dream, I walked into a movie theater and saw my stepfather with my biological father, who transitioned in December 2000. My stepfather could walk!  He wore the same light brown trousers and sporty black jacket we still have in his closet. I walked over to him and took his arm, and we walked out of the theatre. All seemed fine. I woke up the next morning with the joy of a kid in a candy store! I ran up the stairs to tell my daughter, who is intuitive, what happened.

The next morning, my daughter came downstairs with similar excitement. She also saw her grandfather in a dream. “He stood across the street and watched me from afar.” She thought it odd to see him in a dream because in previous experiences with those who had transitioned, she saw energy signatures during her waking state. This is the first time she was visited by a loved one during a dream state.

My daughter and I shared our dream experiences with my mother, who was hesitant to speak of such matters. We all sat at the dining room table beside the empty black recliner while eating breakfast. I asked my mother, “Have you noticed anything that would make you think Matt is trying to contact you?” To my surprise, she said, “Yes. I keep smelling bedsores in the upstairs bedroom.”

My mother spent countless hours tending to my stepfather’s physical needs to ensure there was never a smell of any kind in the house. In the final months, because he could not walk, he sat in the black recliner for extended periods and developed a bed sore that ultimately led to the infection. So when she said she smelled bed sores, we knew without a doubt it was my stepfather. Because the stairs were too difficult to climb, he had not gone upstairs for more than two years. My mother told us about the smell of bed sores for several days following his transition. It was clear his presence lingered in the house.  

The following night, I once again saw my stepfather in a dream, but something was different. Something felt off.

In the dream, I stood at the top of the stairs looking down at the front door. My stepfather quietly came through the front door, as if to sneak in, and walked into the kitchen to peek in on my mother. He looked at me but did not say anything and proceeded to walk through the living room to the den to hang out with my daughter’s friends. I said to my mother, “I don’t think he’s going to leave. We have to help him go to the light. I’ll call my friend, Kiersten.”  Kiersten Parsons-Hathcock is a medium with the National Institute for Law & Justice. I knew she could help me understand why contact with my stepfather, in the second dream visitation and thereafter, felt different than others.

When someone who has transitioned visits in my dreams, there is often a feeling of evolution—like the soul has evolved in some way. I often feel their intention is to deliver a message quickly and move on. My stepfather did not illicit this feeling. Instead, I felt stagnation. He continued to show up in my dreams and lingered.  

Kiersten agreed to tune in to his energy. She intuited that “He is confused about where he is. He does not know that he’s in his light body instead of his human body.” Having seen this before, Kiersten suggested we talk to him (telepathically or out loud) and explain that he is no longer in his body and that he is to look for the light. And to reassure him that he is loved and can come back and forth anytime he wants, but he must look for the light. Once he recognizes the light, he may see others and relatives on the other side who will help him cross.

My mother, daughter, and I agreed if we have contact with him again or smell bed sores, we would do as Kiersten suggested. We would tell him to look for the light. Everybody was on board, and I could not believe what was happening.  

A few weeks later, my mother, my daughter, and I reconvened in the dining room to check in about our experiences. We each noticed the smell of bed sores had declined, and neither my daughter nor I had more dream visitations. Maybe it worked! Maybe our efforts to reassure him we would be okay and that he could look for the light and cross over worked. I sent Kiersten another email to ask if she would tune in again to check if he has crossed over. She confirmed.

Since 2021, I have studied A Course in Miracles. A prominent teaching of the Course is we are not a body. We are spirit. Eternal and everlasting. When I stood over my stepfather’s body at the hospital, it was so clear he was not his body. We are not our bodies. The spirit lives on. Because of my spiritual practice, I was able to let him go, knowing our relationship would continue in a different way. I believe all we have to do is think of our loved ones and they are aware of us.

Three months after my stepfather’s transition, I attended a workshop with psychic/medium Karyn Reece. At the close of the workshop, I quickly got in line to ask Karyn about the dream visitations with my stepfather. I stood directly in front of Karyn and explained what we experienced with the lingering smell and dreams. While I quickly gave the details, Karyn turned to her right as if to look at and listen to someone. She then looked back at me and asked, “Have you been baking?” “Yes! My mother and I baked a chocolate cake twice this week trying to perfect the recipe.” She looked to her right again, then back at me, and asked, “Who is Chris?” Wow, I thought. “That’s my brother! Today is his birthday!” “He said to call him. He needs you.”

It was clear Karyn could see my stepfather in spirit and that he stood to her right—right beside her! There is no way she could have known about the baking and my brother’s name. Just that morning I thought I should call him. And just like Kiersten, Karyn confirmed my stepfather had indeed crossed over. Karyn said, “He makes his presence known through the smell of bed sores.” Not only has he crossed over, but he is doing well. I was thrilled to hear this!

I said, “Tell him I don’t want to smell bed sores. I want the smell of pickles.” “He loves pickles!” Karyn exclaimed. “I know! I made them for him all the time!”

Now, periodically, I still smell bed sores and I know my stepfather is with me. He did not take my cue for pickles. When I realize he is making his presence known, I tell him how much I love and miss him and how grateful I am for his life. It is a spectacular, wonderful, and reassuring perspective to know my loved one remains with me. I don’t have to feel afraid, worried, or alone because I know I am not alone. Our loved ones remain with us and live in our hearts. What a blessing to know, without a doubt, we are not our bodies. “I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.”