A Soldier in the Afterlife Shares His Passing

One moment I was…one moment I was alive and we were…I always remember it so well. We’d been under a heavy bombardment practically all day and I thought to meself at the time, ‘if we come through this lot we’ll be lucky’, you know and then we were…early morning we were given the command to go over the top. Well, I thought, ‘this is it, boy,’ you know, ‘oh well, if I come out of this lot I’ll be bloody lucky.’ Anyway, I went. I must admit, that it took all I’d got to really get myself over the top.

Anyway, I don’t like even going into it, ‘septing that, all I know is that I was running forward and I still kept running forward. And the funny part about it is, that some of the Germans were coming towards me and they rushed past me as if they didn’t see me. I thought, ‘well, that’s a funny how-d’ya-do.’ All I remember was feeling in a pretty bad state, you know, sweating and, ‘oh, crying out loud, this is it,’ you know.

But instead of them attacking me or in any way, sort of, taking any interest in me, they were rushing past me. I thought, ‘well, good lord ! I can’t make this out at all.’ And, it took me quite a while to, sort of realise what had happened. In fact, it was some time I think, before I realised what happened. I went on and all I can remember is running and running and I thought, ‘well, if they’re not going to see me, I’m certainly not going to bother about them. I’m going to try and get into a little cubby hole somewhere and get out of it.’

And all I remember is getting into a hole, in the ground that had been created by a bomb I expect, at some time. Anyway, all I know is, that I got into this hole and just crouched down and thought, ‘well, I’ll wait till this shindig’s over and hope for the best. Might get taken prisoner, who knows? I don’t.’

And I was lying there thinking to myself, ‘well, it’s a funny how-d’ya-do. They didn’t see me. They must have seen me, yet they went right past me.’ And I started to think about it and I thought, ‘well, I don’t know. I’m lucky.’

And, oh, I don’t know how long I must have been there. Anyway, I must have fallen asleep or something ’cause, the next thing I know was that, at the time, that was – I remember seeing a bright light in front of me. It was just as if I woke up and there was a very bright light. And I couldn’t make this out at all ’cause it was the sort of light I’d never seen before. It was just as if the whole place was illuminated and it was so dazzling that, for a moment, I could sort of, hardly look at it. I had to keep, sort of closing me eyes and having a look. And I thought, ‘well, I don’t know. Some sort of a trick of the light or something.’ I got a bit, a little windy, you know, I didn’t know what to think. 

Then, all of a sudden, it was just as if I saw, an outline, a shape or figure appear. And, I kept looking and I thought, ‘well, I don’t know.’ I wasn’t sure whether it was human or what it was. It was the outline of a human being and it was full of luminos-osity and gradually it seemed to take shape. And I was in an absolute sweat because, eventually I could see that it was an old friend of mine, who I knew had been killed some months before, named Smart – Billy Smart we used to call him – ‘Ole Bill’. And he was looking at me and I was looking at him and it was…I don’t know how to explain this. It was as if somehow there was a sort of merging, I suppose, in some way or other, of him and me. Most peculiar, I can’t explain this.

Anyway, all I know is that I felt myself getting up – and that struck me as odd that I should be conscious of meself getting up. In a strange sort of way, I thought, ‘well, here’s me been lying here probably all night – all day and night. I ought to be feeling stiff and awkward and uncomfortable.’ But I didn’t. I felt as light as a feather and I thought, ‘well, something’s gone to me head. Perhaps I got a whack, you know, or something.’

I didn’t know what to think about it. Anyway, I went towards him, as if I was being like a magnet, drawn to him and as I got closer, I could see that he was, oh I don’t know, full of vitality, full of life, wonderful, sort of colour in his face. And then, all of a sudden, as I got near to him, it dawned on me that he was dead !

Funny thing was, when I first saw him, I didn’t think of him being dead although, I must have remembered and realised in a way he had been killed some months before. Anyway, all I know is, I was drawn to him and he smiled at me and I suppose I must have smiled back. Anyway, he sort of held out his hand and I felt a bit daft in a way ’cause, I know it’s natural to shake hands, but there was me – in a dug-hole, a trench, a dugout, whatever you like to call it, crater in earth – sort of shaking hands with someone who was dead and it sort of put me in a cold sweat, in a kind of way and I thought, ‘well, what’s going on here? I must be dreaming or something.’ Anyway, I could hear him speak and he says,