Two weeks after his forty-ninth birthday, Bob suffered a heart attack at four one morning and died. His death, completely unexpected, was a severe shock to his wife, Anne. Soon after Bob’s passing, Anne had the most profound dream she had ever experienced:

We were holding each other and I felt something running down my leg. I looked and it was blood. Bob tried to help me wipe it away and I realized I had no skin at all. I was just raw meat. He tried to gently stroke me to help me stop bleeding. I knew that he was trying to tell me he was there for me, and although I felt totally raw, exposed and unprepared for his death, that he would help me.

The dream graphically expressed the intensity of Anne’s grief: total rawness and exposure, and a bleeding away of vitality. Years later, she still experienced waves of emotion just recounting the dream. Yet despite its painful imagery, the dream contained a healing balm as well:

To have my lover gently stroking my raw body to help sooth me, in retrospect, was a message about the work I was about to begin toward my spiritual rebirth. His death freed me from physical concerns, and the knowledge that we don’t die has changed my life. Who needs skin to connect? We don’t!

Bob’s death led Anne on a spiritual journey in which she awakened her natural gifts of intuition, psychic ability and healing. The comfort she felt in the dream gave her the courage and energy to undertake the journey.

Dream meetings with people who have died are seldom sad, but bring comfort, relief and joy instead. They have a transformative, healing power that is felt on both sides of the veil. Many dreams of the dead are so intense and realistic that people often wonder if they had a dream or a real experience.

Most of our dreams featuring the dead are symbolic, and when they occur soon after a person has died, are a natural part of the mourning process. In grief counseling, such dreams might be treated as wish fulfillments and emotional releases, such as for the last conversation we never had, or the ways we miss someone. The dead also appear as ordinary dream symbols, representing something about the dreamer or waking life. For example, a deceased father in a dream might represent an authority figure.

Many other dreams of the dead are distinctly different, however. They are true and real encounters with the dead in an alternate reality, the dreamscape.  Under certain circumstances, we have genuine reunions with the dead.

Dreams take us beyond the limits of the physical world during sleep. The ability of dreams to bridge the worlds of the living and the dead has been acknowledged since ancient times. Plato referred to dreams as the “between” place, a meeting ground that exists beyond waking reality.

These special dreams with the dead are purposeful, to impart important information and heal wounds and grief. We may even help the dead complete their transitions to the afterlife.

I had a meeting dream after the death of my father, who was upset about unfinished business and was delaying his transition. I had always been close to him and was devastated when he died of a ruptured aneurysm. At the time of his passing, he was active in his passion: amateur astronomy. His calendar was filled with upcoming events.

Eighteen months prior to death, Dad suffered a burst abdominal aneurysm and was rushed to the hospital. Doctors said he would not survive the emergency surgery, but he did. He was diagnosed with a second aneurysm threat in his chest, one that was inoperable due to its location and his weakened condition.

Dad resumed as much of his activities as he could, although he was in chronic pain. Eventually he suffered the second aneurysm, and died on the operating table. I had the feeling that Dad felt somewhat cheated: he had struggled through a painful recovery, only to have life snatched away.

About two weeks after his death, I had this intense and realistic dream meeting with him. The air was charged with a heavy, electrical energy, and everything had sharp, intense colors and tangible forms that I could feel. I recorded this in my dream diary:

I am at my parents’ house, sitting in a chair in the living room. Mom is home, somewhere in the house, but I do not see her; I just know she is there. Across from me, sitting in his favorite easy chair, is Dad. I know he’s dead, and he knows he’s dead, and that I know it, too. I also know that I am the only one who can see him. The room is lit with a peculiar bright light, and there is strange electricity in the air. I feel rather strange.

I say, “Dad, what are you doing here? You’re dead! You can’t stay here. You’ve got to move on.”

Dad smiles and shakes his head. He explains to me that he has things he still has to do here. I argue with him: He’s dead and he must not stay.

The scene suddenly shifts. I am no longer in my parents’ house, but am watching Dad disappear into the distance. He is walking into a large building. Somehow I know it is a factory, or something like it—a place where work is done. Dad is going to work.

I had no doubt that I’d had a real encounter with my father, and that it concerned his need to fully leave the Earth plane. Upon awakening, I could not recall the exact content of our conversation, but it had seemed to be quite detailed, and our meeting had the feeling of lasting a long time. In life, Dad could be stubborn. I could well imagine his irritation that death inconveniently interrupted his upcoming plans and activities. The symbolism of being in the living room of the house was not lost on me.

Evidently I prevailed upon Dad, since the final dream scene was one of transition. Dad going “to work” in a “factory” seemed apt symbolism. Throughout his life, Dad was a continual student, interested in learning about many things, especially the nature of the cosmos. Astronomy provided many hours of pleasure to him. He had projects going all the time, making things, building things, investigating things. He was recognized in amateur astronomy, with an observatory named after him: The Pettinger-Guiley Observatory in Puyallup, Washington, operated by the Tacoma Astronomical Society. I knew that in the afterlife, Dad would not be one to prop his feet up, but would want to plunge into a new line of work.

I did not have the feeling that Dad was stuck and unable to move on himself. Rather, he needed a nudge, and the dream happened in order to provide the opportunity for one. Interestingly, my mother, who had quite a bit of psychic ability, told me that she had felt Dad’s strong presence in the house for about two weeks after his death. He often sat in his favorite easy chair in the living room. Then suddenly the energy was gone, and she knew he had made a complete transition to the afterlife. She had no knowledge of my dream when she told me about her impressions.

Types of dream visits from the dead

Most dream visits from the dead occur in several types:

Farewell

The dying person comes to say goodbye. There may be telepathic communication or only a silent image of the person that fades away. The next day, the dreamer discovers that the person died the night before or in the early morning hours.

Patti had a dream in which her younger brother, Bill, appeared to her in ripped clothing streaked with blood. He said he had to go somewhere. The next morning, Patti learned that Bill had been killed the previous night in an auto accident. He had come to say good-bye.

Reassurance

The dead most often visit to give messages that they are all right and the living should not worry or grieve. If someone has died in old age or in illness, they are likely to appear restored to youth, health and vitality.

Linda suffered from severe grief after the death of her grandfather, especially as her wedding day approached. She was visited by him in a dream:

It was one of the strangest dreams I have ever had to this day. One wall of the bedroom looked like a movie screen, and it was showing me a movie of my grandfather when I was a very small child. He was at the lake in his bathing trunks, holding the raft for one of us to get on. He called to me, and as I looked at him, he told me, “Linda, don’t worry, I am all right and I am happy.” I laid back down. When I woke up in the morning I was finally able to accept his death.

I believe to this day that my grandfather came to me in my dream to let me know that he was finally okay, and that I had nothing to worry about.

Life guidance

The dead return to give important advice, warnings, solutions to problems and creative ideas, or to bestow blessings of love and forgiveness. There may be an involved conversation. The dreamer may not remember all the details upon awakening, but will nonetheless “know” what is to be done.

For Rose Anne K., a favorite uncle appeared in a lucid dream years after his passing in order to give her a warning:

I had always loved him best and missed him dearly. When he appeared to me in a dream, I was beside myself with joy. It was so real, not like a dream but as though I were awake and in my living room.  He told me he had something very important to say but very little time. “You must be very careful this year, you are in danger.” I reached out my hand and touched his cheek. I could feel him and I ached to embrace him but he pulled away and walked out of the room.

He was right. I hesitate to elaborate, but suffice it to say vigilance made the difference.

Unfinished business

The dead may inform the living of the location of unknown important papers, such as estate documents and other information necessary to settle their estate. Some have significant personal requests they would like to see fulfilled.

In 1321, Dante Alighieri died, leaving the final pages of his masterpiece, Divine Comedy, hidden away in an unknown location. Family members searched in vain. Dante appeared in a dream to his son to reveal the hiding place, which was behind a wall in a house where Dante once lived. Why he placed the last pages there is a mystery, but without the dream, Divine Comedy may have been an incomplete work.

Helping the dead

In some cases of sudden death, the dead need help making their transition to the afterlife. They may appear in a dream as though they were lost or waiting for something to happen, and the dreamer may be able to guide them to their crossover point.

Three months after Richard C.’s sister died in a car accident, he had a dream in which he found her wandering about lost and confused, not realizing she was dead. With the aid of a spirit helper, he guided her to a crossover point where she was greeted by deceased family members. He awakened certain that he had actually met his sister and helped her.

Dreams that foretell death

Precognitive dreams warning of impending death have been documented since ancient times. People dream of the deaths of others but rarely of their own passing. The dead are often the messengers of another person’s impending passing.

Precognitive death dreams have been recorded since ancient times. In 44 BC, Calpurnia, the wife of Roman Emperor Julius Caesar, had a dream in which senators stabbed a statue of her husband, and the statue bled bright red blood. It was an uncanny dream, for later the following day, the emperor’s enemies in the Senate, who had been conspiring against him for some time, actually stabbed Caesar to death in front of the Theater of Pompey in Rome.

The most famous precognitive death dream on record was experienced by President Abraham Lincoln, who foresaw his own death. Ten days before his assassination on April 14, 1865, Lincoln had a dream in which he saw a catafalque in the East Room of the White House, and was told that the president was dead, the victim of assassination.

Dreams of the dying and deathbed visions

Dreams and dream-like visions of the afterlife occur to individuals who are nearing death. Terminally ill patients may begin experiencing vivid contact with the dead and previews of the afterlife up to several weeks before they pass. Sometimes caregivers and family and friends participate in the experiences as well, by sharing visions and having their own corroborating dreams.

Deathbed visions include scenes of heaven, usually a park or garden (see below); the appearances of family members and friends who are dead; appearances of angels and other spiritual beings; and sounds of heavenly music and singing. “Deathbed apparitions,” as the visiting dead are called, begin arriving up to several weeks before a person’s passing. Rarely does anyone but the dying person see them. Their visits become more frequent and longer as the time of death approaches.

Previews of the afterlife

Dreams take us to the edge of the afterlife, to places of transition and glimpses of what lies beyond. We have meetings with the dead and spiritual guides and helpers who explain the afterlife to us. These extraordinary dreams occur throughout life, often as part of spiritual awakenings and major transitions in life.

The most common afterlife settings viewed in dreams are beautiful gardens and parks similar to Earth, but more vibrant. Robert A. Monroe, the pioneer of out-of-body traveling in the hypnagogic states of consciousness (falling asleep), often visited a place he called “The Park,” and said it was a first place of transition for newly-dead souls.

In some dreams, the dead explain to the dreamer what the afterlife is like, usually a place where thought instantly creates reality, and where they are restored to health and vigor.

Characteristics of afterlife dreams

Dream encounters with the dead are like waking experiences. Sometimes there is an “awakening” that is part of the dream experience. Dream visits are often lucid, in which the dreamer is sharply aware of being in a dream, yet one that is intensely realistic. Colors may be unusually bright and the atmosphere may have a heavy or electrical feel to it.

The dead may look as they did when they were alive, and still seem very much alive. There may be an unusual, glowing light around them or in the general environment of the dream. The dreamer may have physical contact with the dead that feels lifelike. Communication is not verbal, however, but telepathic.

The meeting places are often familiar, such as home, but may also be in a neutral place such as a park or garden, or an unknown location. The dreamer may have a sensation of traveling out of body at great speed at the onset of the dream, or, the dream may start with the meeting itself.  The dead may state that they cannot stay long, and the dreamer cannot go with them when they have to leave.

The dream may involve other people who are living, but the focus of the dream will be between the dreamer and the dead person. There may also be spiritual beings present, such as angels. The dreamer experiences intense emotion during the dream and upon awakening.

Dream visits from the dead have tremendous healing and transformation power. Often, the dreamers are able to overcome their grief and feel confident in the survival and well-being of their loved ones. A dream visit may even change a person’s beliefs about the afterlife. For example, a visit that does not conform to religious teachings may bring an expansion of thinking.

The mechanisms of afterlife dreams

Dream visits with the dead operate under conditions and perhaps even “rules” that we do not fully understand. Not everyone who dies makes a return in a dramatic dream. Some make more than one appearance. What’s more, the choice of recipient is sometimes puzzling to the living. For example, a spouse or family member may not receive a dream visit, but a casual friend does. The absence of a reassuring dream visit can be quite distressing to the grievers, who may wonder if they are being punished or why the dead choose not to visit them. Some wonder, “Why did I have this dream?” while others wonder, “Why did someone else have a dream that was meant for me?”

The answer to this mystery lies in the unknown reaches of consciousness. Visitation dreams usually occur where strong emotional ties exist, but emotional ties do not guarantee a visit. Likewise, desire to have contact cannot cause a visit to happen. Dream messages and visits from the afterlife seem to occur under a complex set of circumstances. People who have innate psychic ability and who meditate are more likely to have lucid and OBE dreams, but those qualities also do not guarantee a visit from the dead. And, people who have had no marked prior psychic experiences may have intense dream visits.

Despite the variables and unknowns, it is possible to improve the conditions that enhance dream visitations.

The boundary that divides the world of the living from the afterlife is a powerful one. We do not know the conditions that exist on the Other Side that must be engineered for pathways to open, even in dreams. When the dead visit, they often tell us they have limited time, as though the window of opportunity is narrow.

Another factor is the way a person dreams. All humans may share the dreamscape and the act of dreaming, but there are unique factors for each person that are beyond our present comprehension. Thus, a dream visit is like electricity that finds the path of least resistance. There is an intended visit, a push from the Other Side, and a pull from the side of the living. The dream is attracted to the best channel, which may account for friends receiving visits instead of family members.

The following dream experiences of a middle-aged woman illustrate how this may happen:

I have had two dreams about loved ones who have died. The first was my grandmother. The second was my mother-in-law. Both dreams could be described more as “visits” than dreams. What I mean is both times the women were talking to me more than they were part of a dream sequence. Both times the women were reassuring me and telling me they were with me. Both times I woke up happy and grateful that I had seen them.

Both dreams were very vivid. The second time (after the one with my mother-in-law) I wrote down every detail I could remember—it was about four pages long. What struck me as odd was that I can remember thanking her for visiting me. She just smiled. She wanted me to reassure her son (my husband) that she was with him. I asked her why she didn’t just visit him and she replied that she couldn’t “because of the way that he dreams.”

The dreamer was not certain what her mother-in-law meant by that remark, which implied that an obstacle existed that prevented access to her husband’s dream states. The wife acknowledged that she was naturally intuitive and sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others. She also had frequent precognitive and lucid dreams, which she could control. She enjoyed dreaming because it was “sort of like enjoying a good book or a movie.” Consequently, she may have been easier to reach from the Other Side.

Can we initiate dream visits from the dead?

The occurrences of dream visits from the dead have no reliable predictors. Grief, longing, emotional intensity and desire for reunions play a part in the experience, but do not guarantee a dream visit. As noted earlier, the dead sometimes indicate it is difficult to bridge worlds.

We may be able to improve our opportunities for reunions by setting intentions prior to sleep for contact dreaming. Also, providing for the presence of the ancestral dead in daily life provides on an ongoing energetic link to the dead that may encourage dream visits. The presence of ancestral dead can be honored through home altars, prayer and petitions for guidance.

The benefits of afterlife dreaming

Dream visits and messages from the dead can alleviate grief and facilitate closure, and should be integrated into any counseling. Visitation dreams should be evaluated for both their symbolic content and their integrity as real events. In particular, therapists and counselors should honor these dreams as real experiences and not dismiss them as wish fulfillments, thus robbing the dreamer of the power and beauty of the dream experience.

Dream visits from the dead also can help the living process beliefs and concerns about dying and the afterlife. Natural concerns and questions arise throughout life, as we ponder the meaning of why we are here, where we came from, and where we are going when our time is done. Visitation dreams are direct experiences, the most powerful way to acquire spiritual knowledge and wisdom.