You Can Greatly Reduce Your Grief after Death of a Loved One

In their initial review of studies assessing the efficacy of grief counseling, Jordan and Neimeyer came to a central conclusion: “The predominant finding from these investigations suggests that grief counseling does not demonstrate significant effectiveness. It is plausible that many individuals who undergo such counseling might achieve similar or even superior outcomes without it.” [1]

Fast forward five years to 2008, Neimeyer, alongside Joseph Currier, presented their ongoing research on the effectiveness of grief counseling during the annual conference of the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Their subsequent findings echoed their earlier assessment, indicating that grief counseling offers only a limited degree of assistance, and this benefit tends to diminish shortly after the counseling intervention concludes. [2]

An examination into the effectiveness of physicians in aiding individuals experiencing grief yielded a parallel outcome. Physicians underwent training in a bereavement counseling approach known as PBC (Primary Bereavement Care). The assessment of the impact of this counseling method on their patients in grief revealed that this medical intervention “does not yield significant improvements in the intensity of bereavement, as measured by GEI (Grief Experience Inventory) and TRIG (Texas Revised Inventory of Grief).” [3]

Grief, it appears, maintains its persistence, resisting attempts by both counselors and physicians to assist those grappling with its effects.[3]

Nonetheless, there have been beneficial outcomes stemming from the interactions that grieving individuals have with their departed loved ones. In a study featured in the OMEGA—Journal of Death and Dying, researchers delved into the accounts of individuals detailing their post-death encounters and the favorable consequences experienced by those in mourning. Their findings revealed that these encounters had a profound impact on the participants’ beliefs in an afterlife, their perspectives on life and death, and notably, their experience of grief. Ultimately, post-death encounters played a healing role by fostering a sense of connection with the deceased. As a result, the study suggests that healthcare professionals and counselors should receive education on post-death encounters to create a supportive and empathetic environment for the bereaved to share their experiences.[4]

The authors of that study were referring to spontaneous contacts with people living in the afterlife, including encounters within dreams. However, in 2010, Rochelle Wright, M.S., a licensed psychotherapist in Washington state, introduced a therapeutic approach employing bilateral stimulation to facilitate deliberate afterlife connections between clients and their departed loved ones during psychotherapy sessions. She named this method Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy.

Wright’s approach primarily emphasizes enabling the deceased to guide the interaction, avoiding any interruptions in the natural unfolding of the process, and imposing no time constraints on the duration of these encounters. Remarkably, the Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy technique has yielded afterlife connections in an impressive 95% to 98% of the sessions in which it has been employed thus far. These connections often persist for an hour or more, involving active engagements with the departed, such as receiving messages, engaging in conversations, strolling together, embracing, and even sharing kisses. Clients have reported a profound reduction in their grief, with some experiencing its complete alleviation, resulting in transformative changes in their lives.

Recognizing the profound impact of this particular form of grief therapy on clients, we sought to formally assess the extent to which the Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy experience reduces their grief. Consequently, a study was conducted, employing the Subjective Units of Distress scale (SUDS), a widely utilized tool in EMDR psychotherapy to gauge the distress associated with a client’s memories.

This study involved 45 participants who engaged in Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy sessions led by Rochelle Wright, M.S., the developer of the Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy procedure. The research compared SUDS scale ratings assigned to memories at the outset of the Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy procedure with those recorded during or after the procedure. This report outlines the methodologies employed in the study and presents the findings.