Rochelle Wright was a Washington-state certified psychotherapist who developed the Guided Afterlife Connection procedure, later named Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy. During hundreds of sessions, Rochelle helped clients move into the state of mind in which they had afterlife communication with the person for whom they were grieving. Her method is 98 percent successful and heals grief in a single session. It uses a psychotherapy procedure called eye movement desensitization and reprecessing (EMDR). In it, the psychotherapist uses some repeated action that stimulates the right and left sides of the brain alternately. In the case that follows, the method is eye movement.
One of her sessions follows, from the book Repair & Reattachment Grief Therapy.
Deidre began telling me about her ex-husband, Sam, who died when he was 50. “Sam sold Cadillacs,” she said. “I met him when he was showing a car to my boyfriend. He walked across the car dealership lot and it was love at first sight. He was holding my hand behind my boyfriend’s back. He proposed two weeks later, and within three months, we ran off to Las Vegas and got married. We didn’t tell anyone. During our marriage, we had two boys and a girl: Greg, Troy, and Lisa.
“Sam was very handsome and charming, but extremely manipulative. He was an alcoholic and became physically abusive with me three or four times. He had affairs with other women our entire marriage. After years of affairs and abuse toward me and my children, I divorced him.
“I thought about Sam often after the divorce, and four years later, I sat alone in my bedroom reading through all the letters he had written me, crying for what I had lost, in spite of the abuse. I looked at all the old pictures of Sam and me in happier days, one by one, crying the entire time. After hours of reminiscing, I had the liberating experience of forgiving Sam. That was at about 7:30 p.m. The next day, I learned that Sam had killed himself at that time the previous evening.
“I got the call that Sam had killed himself while I was at the office. Mary, my friend, was in the office when I heard the news. She drove me to tell our children. ‛How am I going to tell the kids?’ I thought, still in shock.
“When I told each child about their father’s death, I found they already knew. I think they were in shock.
“I learned that his current wife, Polly, had discovered him with a fatal gunshot wound to the head. She said he committed suicide, but I was suspicious of Polly. Sam was court ordered to keep an insurance policy on himself that named our children as beneficiaries so they would continue to be supported if he died. Two weeks before his death, Polly changed the policies so she would get all of the money in the event he died. To add to my suspicions, police first said a suicide note was found, but later said no suicide note had been found.
But in spite of Polly’s changing the life insurance policies just weeks before Sam’s suspicious death, police never investigated it. A friend and business colleague of Sam’s was also suspicious and hired a private investigator to look into Sam’s death. The private investigator took the case and was working on it, but then mysteriously stopped returning our phone calls. He just dropped out of the case with no explanation. We never did find out what really happened.”
The Guided Afterlife Connection
When Deidre had finished telling me about Sam, I began the Guided Afterlife Connections procedure. I asked her what the most disturbing memory was, and she said it was when she had just learned about Sam’s death and was thinking, “How am I going to tell my kids?”
I guided Deidre through a set of eye movements. She closed her eyes, focusing on the image and feelings that accompanied the thought, “How am I going to tell my kids?” When she opened them, she said she saw herself telling Troy about Sam’s death.
Throughout the next 45 minutes of eye movements and experiences, many memories came up: some very positive and some not so positive. Finally, after a set of eye movements, she closed her eyes and the afterlife connection began.
When Deidre opened her eyes, she said “Now, I’m floating in water. I’m snorkeling. I see Sam huddled way down in a corner of the ocean, afraid to come out. I’m telling him, ‛It’s OK.’ I see him, but he’s not talking to me.”
After another set of eye movements, Deidre said, “Sam was a tortured soul and I keep hearing the words ‛Too dangerous, too dangerous.’ I sense he’s talking about the mystery surrounding his death. I see him sitting on the floor of the ocean in a ball. I have my arms around him saying, ‛It’s OK. It’s OK.’”
I guided her through another set of eye movements and Deidre closed her eyes. She had them closed a very long time, probably 15 minutes or more. Finally she opened them and said, “It’s like he’s stuck. I go over to him and tell him that I forgive him. ‛The kids forgive you,’ I say.”
After another set of eye movements, Deidre closed her eyes. With her eyes still closed, she exclaimed, “Sam’s saying, ‛She killed me. She killed me.’” I, Rochelle, felt a huge rush of emotions and chills across my body. I got goose bumps. Deidre continued, “There was struggling with a gun . . . and then the image went away. That’s all I got.”
Following a few more sets of eye movements, Deidre said, “I asked him about the grandchildren. He’s so into our little grandson Jay. We sort of had a conversation. We talked about our granddaughter Kayla. Sam said he is watching over Kayla and Jay.”
After more eye movements, Deidre said “Sam needed my forgiveness to come out of that space, that ball, as a tortured soul. I went to where he was hiding in a ball and pulled him up from the bottom of the ocean. We swam to shore. I led him to a bench and said, ‛Let’s sit down on this park bench.’ So Sam and I are sitting on the bench talking about our grandchildren. His hair is messy, so unlike his perfectly stylized hair in life. He’s so much more relaxed and happy now.”
We did another set of eye movements. After Deidre opened her eyes, she said, “I could see my guides dancing. They knew they were close enough to catch me if I fell in any direction. They said, ‛We are always here to hold you up.’”
Deidre continued, “I wanted to see my niece Jill, my friend Marty, and my mom and dad. I did see them off in the distance. I was getting a glimpse of each one of them.” Soon after that, the session ended.
Deidre came back to have another session. She said that after the first session, she spent an evening looking through pictures of her ex-husband, Sam. That night she had a dream of him. In the dream, he came back to her. But she didn’t care if he left or stayed. Deidre explained, “I was wondering if he was going to leave. I saw him looking into a mirror in the bathroom. I didn’t want him to leave though. I wanted things to be the way they were for our family, but not the bad parts. I wanted a functional relationship. I didn’t want him drinking. I just wanted the good parts.”
Deidre and I then began the Guided Afterlife Connection procedure to make another connection with Sam. We used the dream as the focus. Deidre wore the headphones as I guided her through a set of eye movements and she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she said, “I was flashing on good memories. Then Sam and I were walking down the beach like we’re making up. I’m holding Sam’s hand. He sat down in the sand and I asked him, ‛Is there anything you want me to tell the kids?’ He said, ‛Tell Greg I am so very proud of him. Greg is everything he could have been. Tell Troy what a wonderful father he is. I’m really sorry I was so hard on Lisa. I know I stifled her creativity.’ Then Sam started sobbing and said, ‛I’m sorry for how I treated you. It made you a stronger person and I’m proud of that. It’s time for things to get better for you and for you to be happy.’”
After another set of eye movements, Deidre closed her eyes and sat quietly for a while. When she opened her eyes, she told me, “Sam said a lot of things. He looked like he did when he was young, with his hair hanging down. He had on white pants and a white top, like a karate suit. But there was no belt on the karate suit. Sam sat on a bench and I sat next to him. He said to me, ‛The most important thing you must work on is your book with Martha.’ I’m co-authoring a book about our work relating to the body and medicine. Sam said to me, ‛Concentrate on the victimhood part to help people live healthier lives. I was a prime example of what blaming does to the body. Keep working with Martha because you work well together and motivate each other.’”
We did another set of eye movements, and after she opened her eyes, Deidre continued: “He talked to me about promoting my book. He said to me, ‛I have a much larger perspective from the other side.’”
We did another set of eye movements and Deidre described what came to her: “I have a guide named Alison. Sam says Alison and the other guides around me are propping me up. Then I saw an image of everyone propping me up. Alison was saying, ‛Put one foot in front of the other. It will all work out.’
“I started telling Sam about my concerns for each of my kids. He said, “Deidre, they are grown now. They need to live their own lives. It’s their affairs now; don’t interfere with them.’”
I guided her through another set of eye movements. She continued describing her afterlife connection with Sam. “We walked around the garden. We stopped and Sam hugged me. Despite all the problems we had, we created three beautiful souls and two beautiful grandchildren. He said to me, ‛You need to set a good example and get it together financially again. You need to finish what you’re here to do. The important thing for you is to finish what you’re doing. You’ll have all the help you need, and you’ll be able to buy that damn house if you want it.’ He was laughing. I’m renting the house I’m living in now but I want to buy it.”
We did another set of eye movements and Deidre closed her eyes. When she opened them, she explained, “Sam said to me, ‛There’s lots of really good life left, and you’ll have all the strength that you need to do it.’ Then he said to me, ‛Thanks for pulling me up from the bottom of the ocean.’”
After another set of eye movements, Deidre said, “Now we are dancing in the garden. ‛I can dance!’ I said. Sam said to me, ‛Put humor in the book.’”
Because Sam was so forthcoming with information, I said to Deidre, “Ask Sam if there is anything he has to say about the Guided Afterlife Connections work I’m doing.” I guided her through a set of eye movements and she closed her eyes. After a few moments, she opened them, smiling. “Sam said to me, ‛Obviously I like it because I’m talking to you, and I got pulled out from the bottom of the ocean. What Rochelle is doing is very important work in conjunction with all the changes the world is going through. Rochelle was chosen to do it because she has the heart, the skills, and the disposition to do it. It’s her path, and she’ll grow tremendously from what she’s going to be asked to do. It’s really big. Appearing on national television talk shows isn’t such a long shot.’” We both laughed.
Deidre continued, “Sam has this huge presence. He said, ‛Deidre, your book will fulfill its purpose. It’s going to help a lot of people but it doesn’t have to have the mass appeal that Rochelle’s book does. It will do what it is supposed to do. You will have help along the way. Don’t be a skeptic.’
“Rochelle, I have a feeling he really is around and he will be around in a much more positive form, all the time, to help and support me.”
With that, we ended the session.
A few days later, Deidre came back for another session. I began the Guided Afterlife Connections procedure and she immediately went back into her connection with Sam. She asked many questions about her life and the direction she was going in. Sam answered every question, giving her one after another remarkably relevant, insightful suggestion.
After one set of eye movements, Deidre closed her eyes and asked Sam what her involvement in facilitating Guided Afterlife Connections and working with me might be. When she opened her eyes, she reported that Sam told her, “You’re not ready to know yet what it’s about. Your involvement is going to work into this in a way that will really surprise you and Rochelle. Yes, you should be trained by Rochelle. Yes, you will be doing it, but neither of you have thought of this unusual way of using this procedure. There are other, more extensive uses for it. You will be using it with a part of the spirit that is still alive.”
Soon after that intriguing revelation, we ended the session.
Life Changes from the Guided Afterlife Connection
When Deidre began her first session, she had a number of memories that she rated as being very disturbing: 10s and “high 10s.” After the procedure, I asked her about the memories. She said, “All the 10s are not a problem. They’re zeroes now.”